


You’re A Sunflower

by IHaveNotTurnedGOOD (strangeradventuresofstarwars)



Category: Green Wing
Genre: Don’t Break Into Sue White’s Office, F/M, Typical Green Wing Insanity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-20 17:22:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18529672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strangeradventuresofstarwars/pseuds/IHaveNotTurnedGOOD
Summary: Sue White’s plastic office flower has randomly been replaced by actual sunflowers. Someone has been breaking into her office...





	You’re A Sunflower

I don’t own anything. Just for fun.

 

Sue White prides herself on keeping her office neat and tidy.

She is aware of every item that is in her office and where it is placed.

Which is why when she enters her office on a seemingly regular day, she knows something’s amiss.

Her plastic flower is gone.

The plastic flower that she’s kept in the left window ever since she first arrived at this lunatic asylum.

She’s never moved it, never paid it much interest mind but it’s gone and she knows it’s gone.

Except, what’s even more intriguing is that in the place which the flower used to reside there is an actual vase filled with very real sunflowers.

“What?” Sue mutters to herself in mild confusion as she approaches the window.

Her long fingers reaching out to touch the soft yellow petals.

“How did you get there?” She tilts her head to the side.

She’s certainly never put them there and no one has sent her flowers recently.

No one’s ever sent her flowers for starters.

Her office has also been locked the entire time that she is not within it.

Which means that whoever has done this has evidently broken into her office.

“Who the fuck’s been in my office?!”

 

When Sue eventually disposes of the flowers, having kept them until they died. She contemplates what she should do.

Wondering if she should look into a replacement fake flower.

Seeing as her old one never showed up and she searched for that bloody thing high and low.

Perhaps she can replace it with an identical one.

Sue doubts it as that thing was old.

It’s not like she can just leave the space empty though.

 

Upon returning to work the very next day, Sue nearly drops her handbag when she enters her office and finds another vase filled to the brim with new sunflowers.

Someone is breaking into her office.

She doesn’t like that.

Not one bit.

Glancing at the new addition to her office, Sue vows to put this to an end.

Truth be told, the flowers are not what’s bothering her.

It’s the fact that someone’s actually breaking into her fucking office and the liaison officer wants to find out exactly who is doing this and how they’re getting into her office in the first place.

However, she will keep the flowers where they are.

Saves her the job of finding that fake flower anyhow.

 

When the second batch of sunflowers die and Sue disposes of them, she attaches a camera to the top of the bookshelf by the door before she leaves for the night and locks the door securely

Either no one will come or she’ll catch the perpetrator in the act.

Either way it’ll give her answers.

 

Entering her office the next day, the liaison officer freezes when she sees that there are in fact a new vase of fresh sunflowers in her office window.

Snatching up the camera she’d hidden, Sue prepares to discover the truth.

The identity behind the one who dares to break into her office.

However, to the Scottish woman’s fury, she discovers that the camera has died and hasn’t collected any information at all.

The mystery remaining unsolved and leaving Sue White even more pissed off than before.

There is someone breaking into her office and she needs to discover their identity.

No one breaks into her office and simply gets away with it.

Even if she doesn’t hate the flowers per say.

 

When the third batch of sunflowers are dead and gone, Sue doesn’t even bother putting anything up in the attempt to seek out the identity of the person responsible as some of the staff including herself on a break for a couple of weeks.

However, the day that she returns to work after her well deserved break, she discovers that there are yet another vase of fresh sunflowers waiting for her.

This is getting beyond a joke now.

The fuckwit breaking into her office is going to have a bloody hard job ever doing it again.

Yet the Scottish lady can’t help but smirk wryly at the flowers that are brightening up her room.

 

When the fourth batch of sunflowers pass away, Sue disposes of them and has the locks on her door changed.

This needs to end.

Normality must be restored and she must maintain the integrity of her office.

It’s time to search for an actual replacement to the fake flower that went missing all those weeks ago.

 

“You’ve got to be fucking joking.” She White states upon entering her office.

The same office that has just had the locks on the door changed.

There are a new batch of sunflowers waiting for her.

“Fucking hell.” The Scottish woman mutters as she crosses the room to the vase.

“Sorry is this not a convenient time?” The voice of Dr. Caroline Trodd sounds out from behind her.

“Just tell me what you want and fuck off.” Sue mutters not even looking at the other woman.

“It’s about todays rota. We’re a staff member down because there’s been a case of absolute bloody idiocy, could you change it? Mac said that’s the sort of thing he’s come to you about before.”

“Yeah alright I’ll sort it now fuck off!”

“You seem more on edge than usual.” Caroline remarks.

“I’ll be going then.” She freezes when Sue turns around to face her with a murderous look in her icy blue eyes.

“And don’t bloody come back.” Sue grumbles when the timid doctor shuts the door behind her.

 

Upon finishing the job for Dr. Trodd, Sue delivers the new rota herself to Mac.

“Thank you.” Mac takes the sheet from her.

“Sorry about that, bit of a last minute thing.”

“Idiocy I’ve heard.”

“Oh yes. Complete and utter idiocy the likes of which has never been seen before.” Mac looks annoyed when he confirms Dr. Trodd’s words.

“What’s annoying you then?” 

“Some wanker is breaking into my office. Been going on for sometime now. I can’t seem to find out who it is.” Sue retorts with folded arms.

“Even got passed the new locks I had installed on the door. I tell you when I find out who’s...” Sue trails off when she notices Mac’s eyes widening and him mouthing the word ‘shit.’

“Was it you?” Sue raises a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at him.

If it was Mac she isn’t sure what she’d do.

Or say for that matter.

“No, no, no of course not. No.”

“Why’s Caroline just told me that the rota’s been changed? I told you I’m fine!” The loud mouthed Guy Secretan yells as he comes into view.

There’s a bandage around his head and a thin white strip across his evidently bruised nose.

“What’s the matter donkey boy, did somebody finally punch you?” Sue places her hands on her hips.

“Not yet.” Mac whispers under his breath before pointing and glaring at Guy.

“You, back to the break room I told you that you shouldn’t be moving around for at least until the end of the day after what you did to yourself.” 

“I haven’t got time for this.” Sue rolls her eyes at the two men before heading to leave.

“Guy! For gods sakes why are you here? Thought we told you not to move. You fell of the bloody roof.” Dr. Trodd growls at him with her roommate Dr. Angela Hunter at her side.

Who evidently hadn’t heard the story yet as her eyes widen.

“You fell off a roof? What the fuck were you doing?”

“Delivering flowers to...”

“ALRIGHT don’t need it announcing to the world Mac!” Guy cuts the other Doctor off quickly.

However, the words had been said and Sue had just heard them as she was just walking out of the door.

“Ooh spill! Who were they for? Anyone we know? Come on!” Angela prompts them for more information.

“Why it was...”

“Mac I swear to god...”

“What are we talking about?” Dr. Martin Dear enters, wincing as he takes in Guy’s appearance.

“Nothing much, just the reason why Guy fell of the hospital roof this morning.” Mac fills him in.

“Ahh I still don’t get that mate, what possessed you to deliver flowers to Sue White in the first place?”

“MARTIN!” Guy growls.

“So you’re the one who’s been breaking and entering into my office.” Sue stride slowly into the room, her arms folded.

“Run. Just run.” Martin looks terrified as he addresses Guy.

“You’re the one who should be doing the running, Fartin.” Guy glares at the younger Doctor.

“Cretinous fuckwit!” Sue snarls at him.

“Or we both run together. Come on!” Guy grabs a hold of Martin’s arm before darting from the room.

Sue chasing after them, leaving Mac, Caroline and Angela.

“Should we make a bet on which one of them dies first?” Caroline speaks up.

“Martin, definitely Martin.” Mac places his bet.

“Don’t underestimate a woman’s anger at someone going through her stuff. It’ll be Guy.” Angela shrugs her shoulders.

“Definitely Guy.”

 

Somehow, by the skin of their teeth, the two doctor’s mange to escape being chased.

In all honesty, Sue herself had given up the chase.

Deciding that she shall plot her revenge in private.

Enact it when he least expects it.

Yeah, that’s exactly what she’s going to do.

 

When the working day comes to a close, Sue thoroughly ensures that her office door is locked before through the building.

Escaping the hospital in less than ten minutes.

However, upon approaching her car it becomes evident to her that she is to face one last obstacle.

The man responsible for the flowers and the breaking and entering.

“Please don’t kill me.” Is Guy’s first words as she approaches him, a fresh pot of sunflowers held in his hands that he hold out, almost like a shield.

“I promise you I was not trying to piss you off and I never went through any of your stuff when I was in your office.”

“You still broke into the place wankpot.” Sue scolds him.

“Maybe.”

“Explain yourself to me, donkey boy or a head injury will be the least of your concerns.”

“Don’t really have a reason for why I did it I just did and I thought maybe you’d appreciate it as that one single plastic thing you had looked a bit depressing to be honest.”

“What the fuck are you on about it was the brightest thing in the room Secretan?” Sue rolls her eyes at him.

“Not as bright as these though I bet.” He gestures to the pot in his hands.

Sue doesn’t say anything.

Instead she just takes the new pot from him and sticks it in her car.

“When you changed the locks I kinda tried to climb through the window and might have fallen if the roof in the process.” He continues.

“That’ll teach you for breaking into my office.”

“You’re still pissed at me for that?”

“Oh I’m going to be pissed at you for that for a long time Secretan. Very long time and if you weren’t already injured you’d be long dead now now.” She warns him. 

“Right.” Guy gulps nervously.

“I’m warning you.” She glowers at him.

“Messaged received. It won’t happen again.” He holds up his hands.

“Good.” 

“I’ll leave the flowers outside the door next time, or I’ll knock... What.” Guy frowns a little bit afraid of the expression that forms upon Sue’s face.

“Nothing. It’s nothing it’s just. I’m not the type of woman people sent flowers to. You’re a strange lunatic, Secretan.” Sue fixes him with a look.

“Maybe you’ll consider meeting this strange lunatic for a drink later though?” Guy looks hopeful.

“That I’ll do.” Sue accepts.

“Really?!” Guy looks thrilled.

“Yes but I’m not going to fuck you. You have been breaking into my office after all.” Sue reminds him.

“Yeah...” Guy nods his head a little nervously.

“Anyhow. I’ll join you for a drink.” Sue states, taking Guy’s arm when he offers it to her.

“And you can tell me exactly what you did to the flower that was there originally and can no longer be found.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was awful. I’m sorry that I posted this, I just felt like contributing to the Green Wing fanfiction archive after spending a day watching one of Stephen Mangan’s shows. Thanks for reading if anyone actually has read this & please comment & tell me what you thought. I love to hear what people think of my work.


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